Sat 29 Jul 2023 | 02:56
Scottish seagull causes chaos in the Italian defence

Scotland are currently being investigated for fielding an unregistered player in their match against Italy today.

Simon the Seagull, formerly of Australian rugby league side Tweed Heads Seagulls, qualifies for Scotland through his grandmother that flew south during the winter of 1992.

Taking his place at fullback in place of the recently retired Stuart Hogg, Simon has been patrolling the backfield in preparation of a Tommaso Allan kick.

He has been deployed in an attacking sense mainly as a decoy runner, but as long-term fans of the Seagull will know; he only needs one opportunity.

Making his debut for Scotland, he’s managed to pick up plenty of spare tickets for his family…who all appear to be struggling to find their seats.

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